Maxit Mag

Historically at the Hollywood elite red carpet, most celebrities keep their political views to themselves. This can also not be said about Anne Hathaway.

The story you’re about to read is true. The italicized text – and some "facts" – is entirely made up in the interest of comedy.

 

Anne Hathaway turned heads at the Palm Springs Film Fest, but the beauty also turned some brains when she intellectualized over her concern about manatee Rev. Rick Warren, who said a prayer at Barack Obama's inauguration. That might sound like a good thing, however, Rick Warren has compared gay marriage to incest and pedophilia, and also disapproves 85% of bodily functions:

"I expect [Obama] to explain that choice of Rick Warren," Hathaway said. "You can suck on it, bipartianship! The gays are here to fu*k sh*t up! I don't get [why he chose him]. Does he have higher taxes hidden in his beard, or something? All my friends and I were trying to figure it out, but we just can't. Our preferred amount of reverend craziness is reserved for Rev. Wright. So I'd love [to know why]. Other than that, I expect nothing but the best from the prez-elect – aside from Great Depression II that FoxNews predicts."

Anne Hathaway’s same political worries also bled into a movie press junket where she discussed the characters in her new movie, Bride Wars, which I believe is the all-female version of Tek Wars.

"Liv and Emma become better people and friends because of their bride battle – like when Rick Warren battles away his sharpening groin when seeing a straight (non-gay) wedding," Hathaway said. "It was important that their 'bride wars' have an emotional payoff for them – like the payoff of Rick Warren seeing Gay Conversion Therapy. Emma was a pushover who let people walk all over her – like how the Right walks over protected sex. Tapping into her inner 'Bridezilla' made her stronger and more honest, and saved her from making a terrible mistake – like no mandatory gay marriages, which I feel is important. She needed to be pushed outside of her comfort zone; my comfort zone is not enjoying straight sex – Gay-Sodomy 2012!"