Megan Fox

"Hot bodied" "actress" Megan Fox heats up the new Transformers movie -- powering the film solely with her raw sexuality. Read more, in this completely serious and not-at-all-satirical news story.

The following is meant to be solely satirical. If any part of the proceeding is confused as actual news, our sincerest apologies... stupid.  

 

Transformers actress Megan Fox says she quit waitressing because of customers inability to keep their hands off her "hot" body. She confesses it's why she enjoys working (and even dating) with Transformers so much; they keep to themselves, and if they get too touchy, they can transform into an apology card.

Fox recalls: "I used to be a waitress and guys putting their hands in the wrong places was a common part of my job; I worked at the Touch the Waitress Delicatessen, so it made sense. But it's no secret that diners hire hot girls as waitresses; we didn't even have to serve anything; we'd just walk in, turn, and walk out. It's the same with acting; people are touching me all the time; except Grimlock, his dainty, ineffectual hands can't do much."

Fox says she is more than just "coco-buttery-hot" skin on celluloid:

"I'm not going to apologize for my looks," she said. "As a female, selling your sexuality is just too easy; I often get too much attention from the clientele; that's why it's really refreshing working with the Autobots; those Transformers, opposed to the Decepticons, are only attracted to other robots, and sexy blenders."

Fox, who plays a mechanic caught in a war between robots featured in an alluring Hasbro toy line, says she can also do her own stunts:

"I actually had to step up and be the tough chick my character is supposed to be," she said. "I beat the crap out of those super-expensive Japanese robots to strengthen my upper body."

 

Director Michael Bay showing Fox the tiny Leprechaun that allows the car to transform.

 

Before her date with Starscream, Fox coats a cheery, metallic alloyed to help woo him (or her).

 

Accidently staying in Optimus Prime while he transforms, Megan is squished through his insides like a banana through a tomato slicer.

 

Trapped inside Prime, Megan panics and strips down to her bra.

 

Exhausted trying to find Bumblebee's muffler, Fox falls asleep.

 

Megan shows off her friendship bracelet she got from Megaton.

 

Miss Fox watches the original Transforms animated movie. Confused, she soon crashes and needs rebooting.

 

Inspired by her co-workers, Megan tries to transform into an ottoman, dislocating her shoulder blades.

 


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written by caroline, May 03, 2008
LOL the last pic ahahaha trying to transform into an ottoman
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written by misha, June 25, 2008
hey retards shouldn't u be sayin all that 2 ur girlfriends not to someone who's not interested in u all.
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written by Stephen, August 05, 2008
Ur hot :O
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written by Mallycattttt, December 28, 2008
I seriously think that megan is like GORGEOUS!!!! Especially in transformers! (And just becuase I'm a girl doesn't mean anything...)I just think she is very pretty...
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written by Johnny American, January 01, 2009
She's a royal first-class khunt, and no amount of external beauty in the universe can make up for that. I feel sorry for any guy that has the misfortune to go out with her.
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written by Ade fajar, January 12, 2009
Hallo Megan. How are you ? You are very beautyfull girl
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written by Ade fajar, January 12, 2009
I'am very glad to meet you
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written by hm, January 18, 2009
you're all pathetic. you really think this gorgeous movie star is going to actually write back to your creepy comments?
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written by alanmania1, February 02, 2009
woooow wooooooow and woooooooow great picture beautifull girl
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written by arsalan, March 22, 2009
you r really the most beautifull girl ever, u have got some oomph ,thats different
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written by johnny, July 03, 2009
ha ha that's funny as hell! great work on the article.
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written by GuyverXT9, July 07, 2009
She should mail me... I'll show her a good time, and I don't even need to be a rich and famous hollywood guy. Megan Fox.... I'd eat you like a piece of prime rib.
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